Hello readers! This will be my first post on the blog and it is going to be about Interpersonal Conflict.
In June last year, there was a huge outrage over the behaviour of a middle-aged Singaporean "aunty" arguing with a younger woman on the MRT train, whose actions were caught on video which went viral after being uploaded onto video sharing website YouTube. The video shows the middle-aged woman accusing the younger lady of staring at her, even after the younger lady gave up her seat to her. After much arguing and swearing, the older woman said something along the lines of "So displeasing. Most probably you're from China. Ask you for the seat, keep on staring for how many hours? So rude." The younger woman, who had been silent till then, replied: "You say enough already or not, aunty?"
On the other hand, I also feel that the younger woman was wrong in a way. After being scolded by the older woman, the younger woman initially kept quiet but got fired up after awhile and began hurling vulgarities at the older woman. I feel that the younger woman could have walked away and not quarrel back to prevent further argument.
This is just my two-cents' worth. Thank you for taking time off to read it :) before I end this post, I have one question for all of you - what will you do if you were the young lady caught in this kind of situation?
For me, they way I treated it back which would simply be using respectful manner with smiling face with a sense of sarcasm.Perhaps, I would have said "madam,oh...you have kind of the decent look and I expect you know the etiquette of treating and respecting each others" hoping that you have a good ride with all of the passengers.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, after saying that I would have walked away to avoid argument.I would think that this is kind of a good way not to lose face on both parties and having a good ride.
Hi Chloe!
ReplyDeletePersonally for me, I am really reluctant to take up the "reserved seats" regardless of how tired I am, because I know the inertia I will face when someone else who needs the seat more than I do appears. Then of course, I am not saying that people who take up the other seats have no responsibility to give up their seat to someone in need!
Actually I would think that the context was not very clear in the first place. Perhaps the young lady made gestures, or had certain facial expressions that were misunderstood by the middle-age lady which resulted in the commotion and unpleasant situation. As for the young lady who argued with the middle-age lady, judging from this situation, perhaps it would be best if she did not use such an offensive language towards the middle-age lady. But, could it be something that the middle-age lady said that really offended her? Some people may be particularly sensitive to certain remarks, which may explain her agitated reaction after tolerating for some time.
All in all, I would think that definitely, such a situation is not called for in today's society and can certaintly be prevented. However, I feel that it also highlights certain prejudices that we, as Singaporeans, may hold against some foreigners. Maybe we, as a whole, should learn to embrace each other's culture and be more accepting, tolerant and less judgmental. For me, I really cannot predict my reaction towards the middle-age lady. As much as I would not want to enter into an argument, I would certainly defend my country or nationality if anyone were to give any insulting remarks.
This is a clear example of interpersonal conflict (and maybe even an intercultural one--if indeed the young woman was from China). You describe it quite well, Chloe. It seems odd that the older woman took such offense. Perhaps something transpired that we aren't aware of.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, ideally one would walk away from such an encounter. But when egos are involved, the temptation to defend one's space and pride often becomes paramount.
How to control one's ego? That seems to be an ageless question.
Thanks for sharing this with us.